We are, by our very nature, resistant to change. And when we get older, it seems that we have a reputation of being even slower to adapt. That may be true for some people, and perhaps even more true for the very old, but there are many of us growing older, seeking new opportunities for learning, who welcome change, although not just for the sake of it. And we all have our preferences when it comes to what represents good change, and that which might be change for the worse. We are entering into the realm of politics over such considerations, but that is a different realm from the simple concept of embracing change.
Henry Ford is famous for saying that the only things for certain in this world are death and taxes, whilst others have stated that change is inevitable. The vernacular is more along the lines of “shit happens”, or from Heraclitus, thousands of years ago, we have “Change is the only constant in life”, but one way or another the change is coming. So, we may as well be ready for it. I would argue that being ready for it is a case of firstly being open to the possibility. If we are generally open-minded, and we consider that there are many ways of doing almost everything, then that is a good start. But only some of us are like that. Many of us develop good habits and routines, and we swear by them as they have always worked well for us. And it could be argued that this is the foundation of good mental discipline.
For these reasons, we may be reluctant to easily accept new ideas or ways of doing things. And technology, in particular, may take some time to filter through to our consciousness. Sometimes, that is simply about waiting for any teething problems to be resolved, or it may be about waiting for mass take-up to convince us that the change is not only good, but it may actually improve the quality of our lives.
There are, however, another group of people who will never accept change, and will shut themselves off to even considering alternative ways of doing things, regardless of any arguments put to them, or any attempt to convince them of the benefits. I am tempted to say that I would completely argue against that approach, and would generally describe it as unhealthy, but by doing so, I am imposing my world view on other people. Who am I to say that change will be better for those people? I am fond of saying that, if it works well for you, then that is what you should do. So, really that is what should be said here, too.
Another change over the years, for me at least, is recognising that my solutions for life will only suit a small section of society, and I need to welcome diversity of thought and approach, amongst others. That shouldn’t stop me from having an opinion, which is why I am advocating not only being open to change, but also embracing it, and making it work for us, integrating it with our existing ways of thinking and working.
There are, of course, some changes that we cannot avoid such as, for example, imposition of change as a result of the organisation making changes to their standard operating procedures, or change as a result of legislation, sometimes driven by public opinion or by a change in societal norms.
Additional concerns include body changes, our cognitive abilities, belief systems, habits, routines, adjustments to death, divorce, children becoming adults. Some of these are forced upon us, some chosen, some easy, some are very hard (especially those behaviours we might have that have become addictive). Some changes only occur as a result of some intervention, such as counselling or therapy, talking it through with family, researching alternatives or through the use of self-help texts or videos.
We may have things we would like to change in our lives, or about our behaviours, but which we might find difficult. Some general principles found in many self-help texts might include…
1) Only attempt to change one thing at a time
2) Be clear about exactly what you want to change, and why you wish to change it
3) Identify how the existing situation helps you
4) Be sure that the change will actually be an improvement
5) Take gradual small steps in the form of S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-bound)
6) Make the change at your own pace, for your own reasons, to benefit you rather than others.
This has felt like good advice to me when I have wanted to change some unwanted behaviours, particularly when it comes to being for my own reasons. And the solution has always had to be one that is acceptable to me, rather than adopting that of others. No-one else knows me as well as I do. I suspect that most of us feel the same, which is why following other people’s diet plans, for example, rarely works in the long-term.
My experience of life tells me that the change is just going to keep coming, especially in the area of health as I get older, and some of it might not be that pretty, but I do feel that being prepared and accepting of the change that might come is half the battle in coping with it when it arrives, and some of it already has.
Fraser
August 2023