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A Handful of Words – For your amusement

Abundance — A rival form of dance to that of Morris Dancing, often performed with food items as props (real meaning — plenty, large quantity).

Ajillytea — A type of hot drink valued by older people for improving their movements (see also ‘Mohbillytea’).

Annasteeja — Where people now store their tea bags, named after the first person to do so (not to be confused with ‘anaesthesia’, with a danger of losing consciousness, if thinking about it too much).

Banks-a-daisy — The phrase used by council officials when they realise that by ordering a wall to be repainted, they had covered-up a famous Banksy painting.

Beejive — Dance hall for bees.

Bindaloo — A choice of two places to dispose of any food that turned-out to be too hot or spicy for you.

Bumptious — A person who constantly bumps into other people or things (real meaning — Irritatingly self-assertive).

Calmber — Peaceful driving techniques on the curves of the road.

Catmandoo — A person of the male persuasion who looks after cats — not to be confused with any geographic location.

Crashcade — A large waterfall falling violently down a steep and rocky slope.

Delightfull — A fully charged torch — not to be confused with ‘Delightful’, which is the feeling you have when you have a Delightfull.

Delikate — All the Katherines in the world who work in a Delicatessen (not to be confused with ‘Delicate’ — whatever that means).

Ebullyonce — The label given to you upon a first conviction of cyber-bullying — not to be confused with ‘ebullience’ which is the quality of being cheerful and full of energy or exuberance — not something you are likely to be feeling, if found guilty of cyber-bullying.

Elicksher — The behaviour that happens when the love potion (Elixir) hasn’t quite gone to plan.

Embrogueation — A liquid polish available to rub into your leather shoes.

Feesible — How easy it is to raise prices.

Fecility — Intense happiness over the property you own.

Foolfilling — Feeling good about keeping your jester well-fed.

Gosummer — The kind of light clothing worn during the hotter months.

Graysfull — Reminding us that there can only be fifty shades.

Handsum — Beautiful arithmetic.

Hugh Millity — The first person to express a modest view of their own importance.

Imbrollyoh — A damp person having a confused and complicated sense of identity.

Incandyscent — A sense of wonder about the ingredients of a fragrance.

Jamflow — Being in start-stop traffic.

Kindrind — Easy to peel.

Lagloom — A stretch of salt water, separated from the sea by a low sandbar or coral reef, seen at night.

Langsquid — Low, relaxed and lengthy, Scottish Cephalopod.

Marshmellow — Very relaxed plants in a watery environment.

Marvel-lush — Extraordinary capacity to permanently remain inebriated.

Mohbillytea — A type of hot drink valued by older people for improving their movements (see also ‘Ajillytea’).

Nemesister — Long-standing rivalry with your female sibling.

Nourishdent — Eating food that is bad for you.

Onomatoplayah — Small children who are often found playing on a mat.

Optimemstick — Confident about what might be contained on your memory stick.

Panorrhoea — A remedy, supposed to fix all ailments, that has passed right through the body.

Paradice — The best casino ever.

Phoria — the way to experience a state of intense excitement, now that Brexit has occurred.

Quanticky — Clock running fast.

Quipple — A really tiny objection.

Rasturous — Feeling good about your dreadlocks.

Rat-a-too-wee — Mainly vegetable dish, with a delicate hint of rodent.

Solistude — In a class by oneself.

Sonarus — Detecting the sound of each other.

Ten-Ass-City — A place containing a determined collection of donkeys.

Towelerance — Putting-up with rough towels.

Umbrolly — Uncertain protection from the rain.

Unbashed — Not ashamed of not being attacked.

Varnation — Hard, shiny land.

Vestidol — A very small statue of a god.

Whollyness — Those pictures which depict the entirety of the Loch Ness monster.

Wireship — Sending a message to a god.

Xenopleb — Of the common people in another country.

Xyloemail — Electronically conveying the sound of musical instruments made of wood.

Yearnspheres — Longing for the marbles lost a long time ago.

Yesterweek — Last week.

Zealdeal — The enthusiasm of (only) politicians referring to post-Brexit trade agreements.

Zonealone — Having been ‘sent to Coventry’.

Fraser
April 2023

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