ECOLOGICAL SELF
His scaly, obstreperous skin
keeps his substance firmly within
and gives no indication
of the complex him
From his flaky scalp and cracked lips
to his fungal feet and bony hips
he encounters the world with body rotten
that indicates the life ill-gotten
He stumbles and crashes
And his bulk pounds and mashes
his fingers all stubby
and the nails of them grubby
Yet what lies within
if viewed beyond the skin
is creature gentle and kind
and mostly distinguished
by complexity of mind
INTERPERSONAL SELF
He’s free to chat
he knows that
but unlike all others
including sisters and brothers
he lies way behind
in the verbalising of mind
He manages to relate
to his colleagues he states
all discussion of work
and not once does he shirk
to join in their chat
of life’s little this and life’s little that
Alone home at night
he hides out of sight
never venturing out
to learn what life’s about
and so it is he is all alone
solitary confinement in house — not home
NARRATIVE / EXTENDED SELF
When still at last
he thinks of his past
and the child that lives on within
he holds back the tears
when he thinks of those years
all starved and neglected, how thin
His sisters and brothers
were just like all others
and were never neglected at all
but he came years later
and his mother, he hates her,
for finding new brutish man so tall
The beatings and kicking
replaced drawing and sticking
and then the cellar frequented at night
and what was done there
with his body stripped bare
made him worried and sickened with fright
He thinks times ahead
as he lies in his bed
and his eyes open keeps sleep away
but as hard as he tries
to visualise skies
they never turn blue from their grey
PRIVATE SELF
He thinks times ahead
as he lies in his bed
only this time he’s fallen asleep
the colours are good
and there’s so much food
these are experiences he wants to keep
In his dreams he has friends
and good times don’t end
his children surround him at home
with his partner near
he need have no fear
of ever, once more, being alone
But he feels that the drugs,
the illness and bugs
are beginning to have an impact
and although not on show
he can feel the blood flow
he’s dying and that’s just a fact
CONCEPTUAL SELF
Partner and father
are the two roles he’d rather
have than any other
shelf packer, toilet cleaner
could life get much meaner?
he blames his mother
At home he’s the cook
and cleans every nook
he rises each day with the birds
life has no meaning
so spends most time cleaning
and feels his existence absurd
Fraser
August 2023